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Sgt. Facebook’s lonely hearts club band
College can get lonely. If you’re not very social or don’t get along with your roommate, finding friends and romance is hard.
After a few semesters of isolation, you might feel desperate enough to do something drastic, and FakeInternetGirlfriend.com is counting on it.
The website allows love-starved customers to purchase a fake Internet girlfriend in the form of a female Facebook account that declares herself “in a relationship” with them.
As long as you keep paying the $250 monthly fee, she’ll frequently post syrupy romantic comments on your page and send personalized text messages to fake out your friends. The steep cost might sound crazy, and it definitely is, but keep in mind that this faux flame is actually a real human female, not just some robot or automated script.
That means her personalized comments and messages will actually reflect your interests and the “relationship” between the two of you, assuming you’ve already filled her in on the stuff you like. Definitely weird, but maybe it’ll fool someone into thinking you’re a “big man on campus” even if you never really leave your dorm.
According to job descriptions on the site, playing a fake Internet girlfriend nets you $10 per hour, which is a pretty sweet gig for posting some sappy Facebook love notes if the whole thing doesn’t creep you out too much. There’s actually three or four sites offering this same experience, but none of them currently stock fake boyfriends.
We’re not saying we advocate drinking away your sorrows instead of using this service, but keep in mind that $250 dollars could also buy about 200 beers, which is bound to find you some real friends.